God's Transforming Power
Introduction
Last week in my sermon I mentioned being at a "Dry" place in life where God seems distant and unavailable to me. At one time, this would be a very frightening experience but not this time because of the transforming power of God. The author of Genesis, David the Palmist, Paul in Acts and the Gospel of Mark all speak to the awesome transforming power of our God. It is God’s transforming power that allows me to living in this dry place in my life without fear.
However, my just mentioning such an experience may be a greater concern for some of you since you have reached out to me with great affection and embraced me in the life of this wonderful church. Your concern and continued reaching out is of great importance to me and I want to respond with a sermon that comes through our scriptures and in response to your touching my life with your own.
One member, following church last week gave the gift of humor with a great message. He said, "Preacher, I heard a man tell about how he and his wife were driving along and she said to him, "Honey, you know, we used to sit real close to one another when we were driving." He kept driving and said, "Well, sweetheart, I've not moved a bit since those times." This member reminded me that God hasn't gone anywhere and I think that is exactly the way it is.
The other comment came from Bible Study when one of the participants told me they had not understood what I mean by having a dry spell. So, we spent some time talking about it so my meaning was clarified. This became part of the discussion at both Bible Study sessions and we found many different opinions being expressed. It was exciting to me. It was certainly confusing at times but that is not so unusual when we begin being open with one another.
I left the morning Bible Study to ride to Birmingham to make a hospital visit and did a lot of thinking about our discussion. I left the evening Bible Study and went to the office to do some work. I felt "pumped up" by the liveliness of the discussion. I was encouraged by our differences and our points of common faith. And as I continued our discussion in my head there was the realization, as we had touched on, the dryness in my life is a time of new transformation by God. Rather than God being distant, it would be a more accurate statement that I'm living in a time of "not knowing" where God is leading me. I sense a transformation period in progress and I believe it will be good. The call to me at this point is to be patient.
I want share some transforming moments in my life and invite you to look at your own life and see God's hands at work molding you. Let me make a very quick but important point about this transforming process -- as we concluded in the Bible Study groups, God works in each person uniquely. Consequently, I'm not sharing in order for you to compare but in order for you to look at yourself. As Thumper and I covered the miles to and from Birmingham, the transforming power of God in my life was clear to me.
When I Wanted to Be God
There were years of my life when I wanted to be God. At least, in the sense of not wanting to have anyone, including God, tell me how to live my life.
Early Transformation
As I've shared previously, following my exciting call into the ministry there was that period of ten years when I avoided church and I would say, like Jonah, I climbed aboard a ship in life that was headed the opposite way to what God desired of me. My transforming power was to change from being a boy that other parents wanted their children to associate with to being a boy that no parent wanted their sons or daughters to be with.
Two Really Bad Boys
A child psychiatrist, Peter Sims, sent me the following story that could have been told about me. A mother had reached that point of the last straw with her two sons. She decided to take them to see the meanest preacher in town.
First the older boy was admitted into the stern minister's study. Glaring at the boy from behind the desk, the preacher waited a few moments, then challenged the boy: "Young man, where is God?"
The boy was stunned to silence. The preacher rose part way out of his chair and repeated the question: "I asked you, Where Is God?"
The boy began to quake with dread.... this was no ordinary lecture for being bad! Stepping around from behind the desk, the impassioned preacher now shouted his question, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
At this, the boy leaped from his chair and bolted out the door, running headlong into his little brother. "What's wrong? What's the matter?" his brother asked. "It's awful! The church has LOST GOD and they're BLAMING US!"
Entered Ministry
The day came when I was confronted concerning my call to ministry and I returned to the ministry. I was different and one would certainly say that my life was transformed. I worked hard and studied hard and made it through college and seminary -- I became a good student.
I continued to want to be God and was out to save the world. In those early years, it was a case of everything having to be my way or you could hit the highway. I had the answers. I knew what it took. I was like Lucy in Peanuts as she stood under her psychiatrist sign, "If everyone was like me then it would be a perfect world."
Oh, I preached God and I studied about God and I learned a lot. What I didn't learn is how to be in relationship with God. My experience was one of deep frustration and anger because people were not willing, perhaps not even able, to do things my way -- My way was perceived as God's way during this period of life. Being in ministry became a rather bitter pill to swallow and so I changed the type of ministry I was being.
God's Transforming Power
God's transforming power was at work. Rather than doing away with the storms of frustration in my life, God seemed to encourage them. God does not fear these storms in the least. The first few verses of Genesis read this morning let us know that God does not worry about troubled waters and swirling chaos.
I prayed that my life would be less painful and it became more painful. I prayed that my relationships with others would become what I wanted them to be and they just deteriorated more. I prayed that people would hear me and live my way. They heard a different voice with a different message. I gave up.
Clinical Pastoral Education
I followed the advice of one of my professors in seminary and spent a summer in Clinical Pastoral Education. He thought it would be helpful to me. It was a summer of looking at myself in ways that I never thought possible. It was scary and painful. Later I took another quarter and then a year of advanced CPE.
God's Transforming Power
It was during this period of my ministry that I began to learn about God as one who works with us individually and very specifically. The transforming power of God became a paradox for me as I suffered the pain of getting to honestly know myself and at the same time being more pastoral to others. I began to realize that God's Spirit was actually working through me with others even though I was personally dancing about as fast as I could.
I think that one might characterize these years as years of trying to save myself. I was doing everything I knew to do to save me and the harder I worked the greater the level of anger and frustration.
Dark Night of My Soul
Then my life came crashing down around me. I entered the darkest days of my life. The darkness continued to darken until I was facing the demons that had plagued me all my life. I came face-to-face with myself -- perhaps the worst me.
God's Transforming Power
God's Spirit, like a dove, hovered over me and grasps those moments between my life-threatening storms of my life. And at the darkest depth of my life there was serenity I had never known and God called me to be me. I understood that God was giving me the opportunity to live a new life as the person he created in the first place. What peace and joy even as I realized it would not be easy nor automatic.
Riding Between the Storms
The closest I can describe what happened in those dark moments that were so peaceful is to share a little about my motorcycle ride from Birmingham to Colorado Spring, CO. I left home and headed out knowing that there were all sorts of strong and dangerous storms headed toward me. All three days of riding out there began with watching the weather and seeing how the storms were coming at me from two directions.
In actuality, I rode in the seams between the storms each day. The temperature was much lower than usual and there were strong winds making it just perfect riding for me. I just couldn't believe how wonderful the ride was each day. Painful as it was due to a really rough bump that I had hit compressing disks there was a pleasure that the pain was could not override.
God's Power at Work
God's power is at work in my soul.
Genesis Account
God is not concerned about my personal chaos in life. God is calling for my very soul as it is this very moment in Eugene Peterson's words, "God's Spirit brooded like a bird..." over my soul.
Like the Psalmist
God's voice is shaking the timbers of my soul. Oh, there is no question that God's voice will make the timbers twist and shake like dancing.
Conclusion
My dry period with God is exciting with anticipation because I'm certain that I can answer Paul in the Acts passage where he asks, "Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed? Did you take God into your mind only, or did you also embrace him with your heart? Did he get inside you?" I have spent years getting to know about God. Many years of learning through academics, clinical training and pastoral experience I’m finally ready for this dry period. Many years of hours stacked upon hours of thinking about God and Who God Is in my life. Hours upon hours of Bible reading and reflection. Folks, I done a lot to get to know about God.
All of this, I conclude, can be equated with Paul's description of John's baptism -- it was the necessary preparation for me in order to have God get inside me. I had to go through all those awful times, meant in the very best sense of "full of awe," in order to embrace God in my heart. And over the last few years I've been able to watch my anger becoming affection and frustration become patience.
Here I am in a new transition or beginning. I'm getting small glimpses about how my preparation has been for better hearing and seeing -- God's voice and God's way rather than my own. I'm beginning to sense that this is a time for learning to be embraced by God rather than my even attempting to embrace God. Oh, I know these go together but it's a process. And I think that my dry period is one of waiting for God's embrace to become a new direction for me as your pastor. I think the difference has to do with a greater love and acceptance but as soon as I think that I can sense that I'm trying to push God to hurry up. Lord, help me to be patient as you transform my life once again!
You see, I believe that God has been with me all along and has been transforming my life even when I used other words to describe what was going on. I believe that God is transforming your life as well whether you call it that or not. Transforming lives is not always a pretty sight and often involves painful journeys of various kinds. So, let me encourage you to think back about those times in your life when God seems absent or far away and think about how God was a work in your life. You see, the transforming power of God is awesome!
Finally, I believe that God is working at transforming this church. We are moving from knowing about God to know God. We are moving from knowing God in our head to knowing God in our heart. Oh, this has been a painful and frightening process, one where God may have seemed far away, distant and unresponsive, but God is here. The Spirit of the Lord is at work in your life, the life of this church and in your pastor. The transforming Power of God is truly awesome. Amen.